Just got back from band, again. Sooo tired, and I gotta read that FRACKEN book, Jane Eyre. I REEEEALLY hate that book. It's about as bad as Pride and Prejudice. Everything good my teacher's said about the book is totally irrelevant to me, save for the vocabulary I could glean from it. And that doesn't even help, cuz I hate the book, and therefore forget whatever I read from it. FUCK. Anyways, I'm mad. Why? In short, band sucked. We failed. I'm done now. I never have to shove my massive amount of hair into a friggen hat again, yippie.

I'm drawing stuff, as usual. I've been feeling really pissed off lately, though. Not to mention helpless, stupid, lazy, apathetic, and generally un-loved. It's like the best part of my day is lunch time at school, which is really saying something. That's the only part of the day where people just love me, no matter what, and they don't care what I do. When I get back to class, I've gotta do work and pay attention, or people won't believe in my intelligence. When I get home, I've got to do chores and homework to prove my worth to he household. I have no time to LIVE anymore.

I really don't know how much more I can take... is this how ALL seniors feel? I mean, I'm working so hard doing things I hate doing, and I can't ever do the things I want to do for the rest of my life. It's like my life has no meaning, and it's never had any. And at this rate, it will NEVER have any. I think I understand why people commit suicide now... No, I'm not doing that. It hasn't gotten that bad >_> But yeah... I'm glad I have my friends at least. They don't judge me because of my work ethic or lack of perfection. And I had a sort of epiphany today, on the bus back from the band review (it was really cold, and all I could do to occupy myself was think). I've been thinking, why do people need other people? Why do we newas think). I've been thinking, why do people need other people? Why do we need love, and why do we strive to be accepted by others? My answer is this: I need people to accept me because I can't accept myself. It seems everything I like about myself still isn't good enough for me-- it has to be perfect. I can't please myself very often, and when I do, I usually undermine it with something else. And so, I just want to give a shout out to all my friends who make me feel like I'm worth something. Thanks, guys.

Now that that's over... how the hell am I going to live my life??? Well, one way I've found is to give up all electronics nd be a hermit. That would be fun... but then I'd have no internet to communicate with people, and no money to get art supplies, and I'd have to make my own clothes, grow my own food, such a hassle. And so, I vote that everyone who hates America meet somewhere and make a new country. And if America doesn't like Anti-Americans taking a chunk out of America and calling it Not America, then so be it. Fuck them. Then we can have electricity run on efficient, eco-friendly energy sources, and we could still have all the factories that make clothes, and we can grow food, and stuff. That's my idea. So... anyone wanna come with? And if you think that a perfect life like that with no conflict is boring, well, I do too. That's why all the people who are bored and wanna hit things get together and hit each other. Like a huge mosh pit. And when you're tired of wreaking havoc and getting pummeled, you can leave the group and go back to your perfect, conflict-free life. So yeah... anyone interested?

I really hate it here. f I don't get into Berkeley at least, I don't know what I'll do. there are just too many things to rant about against modern society that I don't even want to start, cuz I'll go on for days. And I have to read that fucking book now. Anyways, thanks for reading.

---

*sigh* I got tagged... I gotta do it. Fine T_T

Stolen from- who stole it from


What color/kind of socks are you wearing?
[ ] Red = loud
[ ] Green = stupid
[x] None = freaky
[ ] Fuzzy = gorgeous
[ ] Yellow = innocent
[ ] Purple = a little too happy
[ ] Black = emo
[ ] Stripes = funny
[ ] Gray = skanky
[ ] Pink = preppy
[ ] Light blue = sweaty
[ ] Other = hot
[ ] White = sexy

What kind of pants are you wearing?
[ ]Shorts = cutie
[ ]Skirt/skort = skank
[ ]Corduroy = homosexual
[ ]Tight jeans = scene kid
[ ]Ripped jeans = emo
[ ]Cammo = cage fighter
[ ]Jeans = prep
[x]Pajamas = pimp
[ ]Cargo = clown
[ ]Sweats = athlete
[ ]Boxers = brat
[ ]Booty shorts = female
[ ]Capris = Gangster
[ ]Nothing = hoe
[ ]Dickies = weirdo
[ ]Bikini bottoms = tiki girl
[ ]Other = sex addict

What is your natural hair color?
[ ]Auburn = that every one wants to make out with
[ ]Blonde = with a broken heart
[ ]Black = with a sexy smile
[x]Dark brown = with a hot boyfriend/girlfriend
[ ]Red = that likes to have fun
[ ]Brown = who loves to be different
[ ]Dirty blonde = with a nice ass
[ ]Bald = with herpes

Pick the month you were born on:
[ ]1 = who ate
[ ]2 = who needed
[x]3 = who killed
[ ]4 = who shot
[ ]5 = who killed
[ ]6 = who smoked with
[ ]7 = who banged
[ ]8 = who ran shirtless with
[ ]9 = who got stabbed horribly by
[ ]10 = who cuddled with
[ ]11 = who slept with
[ ]12 = who ran naked with

Pick the day you were born on:
[ ]01 = the kool-aid man
[ ]02 = a dog
[ ]03 = a shoe
[ ]04 = a toothbrush
[ ]05 = Santa Claus
[ ]06 = The Trojan man
[ ]07 = Barney the dinosaur
[ ]08 = a prostitute
[ ]09 = a porn star
[ ]10 = a bag of weed
[ ]11 = my lover
[ ]12 = a glass of milk
[ ]13 = a horse
[ ]14 = a lesbian
[ ]15 = a stripper
[ ]16 = a pickle
[ ]17 = a jew
[ ]18 = a homo
[ ]19 = an orange
[ ]20 = my mom
[]21 = a homeless guy
[ ]22 = a whore
[ ]23 = my crush
[ ]24 = an easter egg
[ ]25 = a jar of honey
[ ]26 = a condom
[ ]27 = a bowl of cereal
[ ]28 = a french fry
[x]29 = your dealer
[ ]30 = Paris Hilton
[ ]31 = your grandma

Pick the color of the shirt you are wearing:
[ ]White = because I love marijuana
[ ]Black = because im sexy as hell
[ ]Pink = Because the lil people told me to
[ ]Blue = because I have AMAZING boobs
[ ]Red = because I'm a pimp and your jealous
[ ]Polka Dots = because I hate my life
[ ]Purple = because I'm gay
[x]Gray = because I got dared
[ ]Other = because that's how I roll
[ ]Green = because I'm good in bed
[ ]Orange = because I smoke crack
[ ]Turquoise = because I have a noodle in my nose
[ ]Brown = because I had to
[ ]Shirtless = because I've got abs

Um, I'm a freaky pimp with a hot boyfriend, who killed my dealer because I was dared. That's random >_> Well, I wouldn't mind the hot boyfriend part...

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Pictures coming soon... (sometime before I die) Beware of the ridiculous amount of fanart:

Casshern! And more, I guess. And Jin, he's cool
Final Fantasy EVERYTHING
Kaname, Akatsuki, Hanabusa, Shiki, Ichijo Takuma, Cross, Yagari, Zero, Ichiru (Vampire Knight, sudden inspiration from chapter 48 )
Dramacon, random OC thing
Labyrinth thing
FLCL
*Expressions of all characters
Matt, Mello, Light, L, Matsuda, Near (Death Note)
Matt Green from Dramacon (OMG LOVEHIMSOMUCH)
Howl, Sophie, Ashitaka, San, Chihiro, Haku (Miyazaki movies rule!!!)
*New comic, Fang comic
All ideas written on inside cover of sketchbook
Self portrait (heh, I'm a fan of myself)
*Mukuro vs. Hibari (yay angst! Was going to be Brilcrist's contest entry, but I didn't finish it in time T_T)
Me and Carlee buddy picture
*Me, by Alex color
*Sephiroth and Vincent portraits, finish dammit...
Sephiroth, Vincent, Reno, Rude, Tseng, Elena, Reeve, Cid, Shera, Jessie, Biggs, Shalua, Shelke, Denzel, Marlene, Yuffie, Hojo, Lucrecia, Remnants, Angeal, Genesis
*Pinky contest entry 12/15=Fail! Didn't finish on time T_T
Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji
Tsuna, Yamamoto, Gokudera, Hibari, Mukuro, Ryohei, Reborn, Chrome, Colonello, Irie Shouichi, Bel, Squalo, Xanxus, Lanchia, Ken, Chikusa, Spanner, Basil
Ichigo poster boy (you'll see, heh)
Toki, Skwisgaar, Pickles (Gah... I must...)
Alexi, Henkka, Jaska, Janne (Yay COB)
Misty playground thing (I dunno, just random inspiration)
Tybalt, Romeo, Juliet, Cordelia, Francisco, Benvolio, Antonio, Curio (I don't care what you say, the characters in RomeoXJuliet are superbly designed)
Sena, Hiruma, Sakuraba, Takami, Shin, Juumonji, Kakei, Akaba, Maruko, Kisaragi, Suzuna, Kid, Young Kid and Tetsuma, Riku, Mamori, Yukimitsu, Ikkyu, Torakichi, Kotarou, Agon, Karin, Yamato, Taka (Eyeshield 21)
Kiba, Toboe, Tsume, Hige (Wolf's Rain, so awesome)
Kazu, Ikki, Agito/Akito (Air Gear)
Link
Vash
*Derek the cookie
Mio, Mayu (Damn Fatal Frame made me want to torture Mayu... She's an idiot)

*=Working on it
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Bucket List

Travel everywhere
Join a circus
Street Performer
Actress
Secede from US and claim Detroit as a new country
Author
Learn tons of languages, mostly Finnish
Live in Finland
Prove that my distant relatives were Finnish and therefore, I am Finnish
Comic Artist
Animator
Rock band
Teacher (like Socrates )
Firefighter
Studio musician
Parkour
Bum
I just want to sing!
Stay young forever

If anyone knows how to do any of these things, tell me

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Clubs I'm in:




And two new ones!